I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
