So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
