How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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