I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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