I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
