10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
