Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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