You can't motorboat a personality
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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