So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
