You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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