Are we in a gay sports bar?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
