Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
