We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
