you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
