There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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