So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Randomize
