I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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