Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Found your dick twin last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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