nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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