The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
