i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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