i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
