I can tuck mytits in my pants
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My vagina is officially offended.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
