he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
