So drunk its hurt
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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