that's an acceptable place to lick
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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