i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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