Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
