the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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