i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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