You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
