You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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