i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
