I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
