I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
