ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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