what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
