He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All the doctor said was why
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
