You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize