OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
