That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need a beard to bite.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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