He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize