I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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