All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
