smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
