They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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