I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
