how can u be prego again
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
