I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
