It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
